I've Changed My Mind: Countdown to "W" day...

Only 9 more days before I head back to work. I want to go back but then again I've been enjoying the time off. That is when I wasn't in pain, gunk oozing down my side, curing infections and an arm that no longer wants to work.

I saw Dr. Z yesterday. He said the healing was coming along nicely. He said to keep changing the dressing and adding the cream every 12 hours. He said wounds like that heal faster if they're moist which is why he's having me use the cream instead of a saline solution. He said the saline would dry out and require a change every 2 hours. The cream pretty much stays wet all the time.

He was surprised that I was driving and cautioned me to remember that I didn't have full movement in my right arm. I know this and have alawys been one to drive before I was supposed to (2 C-sections).

I'm not to see him for another 2 weeks. He's out of the office next week. I forgot to ask him where he was going, if anywhere. I had a bunch of appointments to make plus I wanted to get to work by 1:00 p.m. for a training class, if possible, so I was in a hurry.

I have an appointment on the 23rd of September to get fitted for a compression sleeve. I would need this in case I wanted to fly and also in case I ever came down with lymphedema. The insurance should cover this. I had looked online and there were many to choose from. I'm glad I asked my friend, R, in Chicago who has already taken this journey before me. She's given me some good suggestions. She said that I would want to get a prescription for one and not buy one off the web as they don't fit as well nor last as long. Thanks R!.

I also have to make an appointment to get fitted for a prosthesis. It's funny how bras won't fit you right if one of the pockets is empty. That part tends to ride up and shows at the neckline. It's most annoying. The clinical coordinator at Dr. Z's office said that the insurance should pay for that also. They're going to try for the full line of bras, camisoles and prosthesis. I did buy some bras last week. I've gone down one chest size. I've lost 40 pounds since January. We know that 1.75 pounds of it was boob. I've also gone down a couple of cup sizes. The plastic surgeon said I was now a full "B" and maybe a "C". The bra I bought was a "B" and it's still a little poofy but I'm wearing it.

I had a scare a few weeks ago and didn't tell anyone till yesterday when I told BDHA. I received an Explanation of Benefits from the insurance company and it said that since I did not get prior approval, I would have to pay for the surgeries on my own. Talk about an immediate stomach ache. I called my nurse caseworker at BCBS and left her a voice mail. I said, "we talked about the surgeries before they happened and after. It was in the system. I would have assumed it was approved. Please let me know what's going on. "

She finally called me back yesterday to see how I was doing and I asked her about it. She said she remembered getting my message but the system said everything was taken care of. She said the hospital probably sent in the wrong "CODE" which is why I got that message. Whew! Talk about heart failure!

I left Dr. Z's office at Magee at 12:32 p.m. I made it to work in the Hopewell Industrial Park, found a parking space and made it to the training room by 1:02 p.m. I think I went over the speed limit a little....(for those who don't know, if you follow posted speeds, it's probably a 45-minute drive). They didn't know I was coming so it was a surprise. I also spent a few hours moving my stuff from one cubicle to another. I took my time and made more trips so that I wouldn't lift anything too heavy. I want to say "hi" to Sarah here who was in the training room. I didn't get a chance to say hi to her then.

I will work a half day on my first day back, the 31st, because I have a follow-up appointment with Dr. L, my medical oncologist. He wanted to see me about a month after surgery and he'd been on vacation the past two weeks. I haven't seen him since my last chemo which was June 15th. I have lots of questions for him, such as diet (recommend a good nutritionist), chances of cancer coming back, what can I do to lower those chances and the MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION of all. "WHEN CAN I DYE MY HAIR?!" If he says never, I can live with that. However, BDHA will have to promise to only mention once a year, on my birthday, how gray I am, if I can't dye it anymore.

Speaking of hair, it's now about an inch long and covers my entire head. No more hats unless I'm out in the sun. I also discovered that I have enough eyelashes to wear mascara. I've started at least wearing that and earrings. Earrings? I hadn't worn any since my hospital stay in April. You have to understand that I would go without make-up before I went out without earrings. I didn't even wear any to MFD's wedding because I was just too tired to decide which pair and to put them on. That's pretty darned tired. Mostly mentally exhausted. I'm starting to feel like my old self again and am pushing myself a little further each day so that I won't be exhausted going back to work.

I bought myself a netbook (teeny laptop) the other day. It's nice to be able to sit out on the back patio and surf the web or take it to the library with me and research books. It weighs hardly anything. I took the sd card out of my digital camera and copied the pictures to the computer. Below are a few for your viewing pleasure. One of these days I'll get the hang on posting them.