The letters of the Alphabet

I saw my primary care physician today. This appointment was set up back in August before "C" entered my life. I have to say that I feel good about having Dr. B as my PCP. He seems very caring and has led me to the doctors down at MWSA. He said that if he had a family member going through what I am going through, he would recommend that they go there versus staying at SVH which is where his office is located.

My blood sugar was elevated since my last visit (gee, could it be all that chocolate I've been stressing out on for the last month?). He also had me get the flu shot. I haven't had the flu for 15 years but he talked me into it last year. And now, with what's looming over me ("C"), I probably should try to stay as healthy as possible. Whatever.

I asked if he could prescribe a new drug that would stop me from being so weepy all the time (whenever I think about it). He said that I needed to take the Ativan every day and that should help. I had been only taking it when I had to go to work. I was afraid of running out but I looked at his prescription pad and it had plenty of sheets left so I guess my connection is set for now.

I told him that I had been reading up on stuff which was upsetting. I wanted to know what stage I was, etc. He told me that all they would be able to tell from the biopsy was whether or not it was "C". They wouldn't know the stage until they removed the mass and tested that. Typing this now, I feel calmer knowing that I won't get the really bad news this week (terminal, inoperable, all those scary words) or it maybe it's just the Ativan kicking in. If I topped it off with a gin martini, I'm sure I could get through the day without any problems.

I was supposed to be on vacation this week but I called it off. I may need those days later this year so I have to go in to work at 2:00 p.m. This is the part that I dread the most; people asking me how I'm doing, feeling, is there anything they can do... That's why I decided to blog, in order to point people to here and not have to talk about it ALL THE TIME. Besides, my daughter, the librarian, told me that November was National Blogging Month and that I *had* to do it. Don't you do everything your children tell you to do?

So what did I change my mind about today...no vacation to San Francisco this week, however, I may take Friday off and hubby and I will take a three-day trip somewhere close. He was talking about Boston. I can't remember if I've ever been.

I hope I can make it through work today.